Message Replying To

From Nez, Age 18

Ht. 5'3", Start: 215 lb, Today: 215 lb, Goal: 160 lb - Hi. well this is the first time I've been on here and I have to let this out. Im so tired of being over weight especially for my height for a number of reasons. 1.)I am the biggest grandchild in my family. On BOTH my mom and dads side and it sucks. I used to hear stories about how when my mom was my age she wasn't as big as me. Now don't get me wrong she was never a skinny mini or anything i guess you could describe her as 'Thick'. She looked good in bathing suits and shorts and skirts and stuff and she was naturally toned. Now both my parents have never been skinny at all, but they werent overweight. And hearing stories about my grandparents and how they were as older people would say 'hot stuff' or 'foxy' makes me sad. I've never even been called cute (not considering my outfit). My grandmothers could pull literally any guy they wanted. And I cant even get a guy to look my way. 2.)My little siblings are better looking than I am. My little sister has had countless boyfriends and has even lost her virginity and i havent even had my first kiss. I honestly feel really pathetic about this. She's tall toned, good-looking, has style, confident, and is really smart the same thing with my cousin (17).My little sister and brother and cousin (17) all are really atheletic with high metabolisms and stuff. I on the other hand have never even been in a sport before. I feel super invisible when i am with my two cousins and my sister (we are really close, My oldest cousin is 23, my other cousin is 17, and my sis is 14) Guys don't even look my way when we are together. I am invisible. 3.)I hate shopping. I can never find my size in anything that I like. 4.) realizing all of this have lead me to depression. I feel down all the time to the point where sometimes I dont even know whats wrong with me. I dont have the confidence or courage to even attempt to look cute. I swear its like as soon as they walk into a room and its all eyes on them. Im serious i've seen it happen. Everything just really sucks. I am currently trying to lose weight but its becoming harder and harder with my depression. I am not putting this up here for advice. I mean if you still would like to give some anyway, be my guess. I am just putting this on here to get this off my chest and maybe to relate to others on here. But if you would like someone to talk to or maybe just to vent to or for any advice my email is yinezlewis@yahoo.com