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From crissy, child's age 13

My daughter has been struggling with her weight for about 3 yrs now. Strangely she was an underweight baby and child until she hit 9, and I really don't know why. I've explored many reasons. She currently attneds the YMCA with me a minimum of 3 times a week, we are usually there 5 or 6 times, taking Sunday off. We started this 4 weeks ago, and she busts her butt, watches her carb and fat intake, and I can see her muscles toning. She however, is not seeing an "weight-loss" when weighing herself. She is 5'2" and approx 180lbs. She hates going to the doctor because he might weigh her, she "wishes" she would lose weight but isn't willing to commit to doing what it takes. I am so emotionally spent at this point, that I am asking any advice from you parents, before I seek professional help. I see her getting discouraged and withdrawn, and I don't blame her. I can keep a happy positive face for a while, but truthfully I am just as discouraged as she is. I too have struggled with my weight, especailly after my third child, and now that I'm 40 I just have to look at food to apply it to my hips. So you can possibly understand how I might not be the best person telling her to be patient, when I am just as impatient. Of course this weight is affecting her entire personality. She has an "I don't care" attitude about what she wears, how she looks, where she goes, if her room is a mess etc. My heart is breaking, please help!