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From Cathy, child's age 9

My stepdaughter is 9 and weighs 122lbs. She had leukemia when she was 4 and is nearing her 5 year mark in remission. Her being overweight is not only hereditary but due to the steroids she was on during her treatments. She lives with her dad and I most of the time because her birth mother works. Her dad and I and the kids went to a diatician upon her oncologists suggestion to see what and how we should feed her and how she should exercise. Unfortunately the birth mother didn't go. The birth mother is also overweight and thinks she "knows how" to feed her daughter. When she does have the little girl, she usually takes her to an "all you can eat" buffet or McDonald's for breakfast, or a steak place for lunch or dinner. The birth mother only gets her kids like on the weekends and most of the time she takes them out to eat at least two to three times on that weekend. She thinks she is not the problem with the little girls weight because she only gets her twice a week and we have her most of the time. According to the dietician, the birth mother taking her out to eat at least three times a week is one of the main reasons the poor kid can't loose weight. The birth mother is undoing what we have done all week. The little girl is in a sport every season of the year, so it's not like she just lays around. She is also very respectful and understands the limitations we put on her with respect to deserts and only drinking water and milk, she never fights us about the nutrition we are working with with respect to the dieticians suggestions. Does anyone have any suggestions about what to do with the birth mother to get her to understand what she is doing to her daughter??!! The oncologist is concerned with juvenile diabetes. What's said is the birth mother's step-father died from diabetes and she doesn't seem to get it! HELP!