Message Replying To

From Holly, Age 12

Ht. 5'4.3", Start: 202.6 lb, Today: 190 lb, Goal: 145 lb - I'm kind of confused. I sorta feel like I want to be sad. I must sound insane but it's really hard to explain. My mom was skinny all her life and same with my dad, my brother, and rest of my family, but me, I've been overweight my entire life. Even when I was 4 I was bigger than everyone else. Why did I get the rotten end of the stick? It makes me so mad I just feel like crying sometimes. One minute I'm fine, and the next minute I just want to scream. It's gotten to the point where it's hard to walk to school and down the hallways because I feel so ugly and fat. I wanted to make myself throw up today, and I'm still not passed the thought. I know it's a bad idea but part of me is blind to why it's so bad. I should know better, I really should, but I'm just so fed up with how hard it's become for me just to walk out in public, or join a class outside because I feel so bad about myself. I just feel farther and farther away from my weight goal, and I'm almost convinced that it's never going to happen. So anyways, it's like I want myself to be sad. I don't know why but I just feel so isolated. Please understand. I just wanted to get out how I felt because I'm so overwhelmed.