From Toni, Child's Age 10 - 01/09/10 - IP#: 217.231.245.xxx Click here to reply
Hello, I have two daughters, ages 10 and 13. It's strange that I find myself here since I myself have never been overweight, and have never really had a weight problem. Because of this, I guess that I was blind to see that my children do, in fact, have weight issues. I don't know how to talk to them. When I was a teen, I was bulemic for a short time, along with many of my friends. It just seemed like the "in" thing to do. I don't want this to happen to my children. They get criticized at school and by other adults. They don't like team sports, so they're not involved in those. They're very artistic and quiet, sweet kids. I have noticed that the first place that they go after school is straight to the kitchen, and they begin to binge. However, the way that I parent is whenever the children do something that they are not supposed to do, I tell them why. Telling them, "Honey, put down the food because it's unhealthy to constantly be eating" simply doesn't get through to them. How in the world do I get through to them and present them with the idea of losing weight as being a fun family undertaking rather than a punishment?
Reply from Kellie, Child's Age 10 - 04/08/10 - IP#: 96.228.3.xxx I have found that it's very helpful not to even have any junk food (chips, cookies, ice cream, candy, or soda) in my house. When my daughter started putting on weight, I simply stopped buying junk food. If it's not there, your child can't eat it. We now snack on fresh fruits and veggies at home. I feel much healthier, and have more energy, and my daughter's weight has stabilized, as a result.
Reply from Nomi, Age 16 - 03/01/10 - IP#: 84.19.114.xxx Taylor is compleatly right- It doesn't make sense to say that you where ''bulemic for a short time''. If it was serious, you wouldn't just be passing it off, as a short time, would you? Besides, if you have a psychological disorder, it will effect you in some way for the rest of your life, so that doesn't makes sense. You should think before you say things, because claming you where 'bulemic'for a short time is not only incorrect but also offencive to people who have actually suffered from the illness. You wouldn't say you had lukemia for a short time. You wouldn't say you had schizophrenia for a short time. so think. You need to try and put yourself in your daughters shoes. Try not to be judgemental, because this can make things worse.
Reply from Taylor, Child's Age 16 - 01/21/10 - IP#: 75.66.56.xxx @annie- I give advice just as well as some of the parents i've seen giving advice, because in case you haven't noticed, being a parent doesn't automatically make you a dietician either. I know a lot about this kind of thing, my age shouldn't make a difference if the advice I give is good... which it is. And I simply said that about bulimia, because as someone who has been diagnosed and suffered with the disorder for YEARS (and will contiunue to suffer from it, in some way or another, most likely for the rest of my life) I was DEEPLY offended by that. People have ignorance of diseases they haven't had, and with psychological illnesses it's easy to say "oh well, I have an anxiety disorder/eating disorder/clinical depression" without any knowledge of what suffering from those DISEASES really means. They're life threatening illnesses, they're series, they're not phases one passes through in a few weeks, not at all. No one would say, "oh well, I have cancer" without a formal diagnosis from a doctor, not EVER, but people so often do it with psychological illnesses and that is by no means okay. Everything I mentioned about bulimia nervosa I HAVE heard out of a doctors mouth at least once, if not several times, so maybe I don't have the degree, but I heard that knowledge from someone who does, so coming from me, it's no less correct. I'm not a smart-aleck. Maybe I am, if giving people correct information makes me a "smart-aleck", then fine... but I'm not going to lie to them, and let them carry on whatever sick game they're playing by self-diagnosising themselves with life-threatening chronic illnesses, that they don't know a thing about. It's not fair to those who do have to suffer with it, it allows people to pass on their ignorance of that illness to other people, and that just makes it worse for those who have it. And I can almost garuntee she never got a formal diagnosis of it, if she can't even spell it. Not to mention, literally, the criteria for bulimia nervosa requires the habits to be done for a minimum of six months, so it's VERY rare to get a diagnosis of it without that, unless one is suffering serious physical ailments due to these habits being practiced over a shorter period of time. And it's not something you do with your friends. diseases aren't things you do with friends. You would think it weird if someone said "oh well, when I was younger I was diabetic with my friends for a short period." or "when i was younger I had cancer with my friends for a short period", because most people KNOW physical illnesses don't work like that. But people are generally ignorant of psychological illnesses, so it sounds find when someone says something like that, but in reality, anyone with an ounce of knowledge of the disease, knows it doesn't work like that. Being sick, whether physically or psychological, doesn't work like that, period. And it doesn't take a medical degree to know that. It's common sense. So I'd appreciate it if you'd back off, because while maybe that's not what she was here for, I felt offended, and if she bothered to read my reply, I hope she'll go away with a little more knowledge about what eating disorders REALLY are. Otherwise, I gave great advice. You just replied to her post to fuss at me, because you're ridiculous, and obviously have nothing better to do than pick on me. It's sad really. (And if you can read, I gave TONS of advice, as well as informing someone that what they were saying is offensive and wrong.) And if you just decided to post that to me because you were "offended", well then you can relate to me, because I explained what bulimia really was because i was offended. So what's the issue?
Reply from annie, Child's Age 16 - 01/20/10 - IP#: 98.150.244.xxx @Taylor: "Miss Know-It-All" at age 16. Rather than being helpful, you give a lecture on what constitututes bulimia. Are you a qualified dietician, psyhcologist, nutritonist, or physician? Of course not. I find your smug reply offensive to the parents who seriously post concerns here, wanting advice from other parents--not a smart-aleck kid.
Reply from Taylor, Age 16 - 01/09/10 - IP#: 75.66.56.xxx Well, first of all, you were not bulimic, because bulimia nervosa is a serious psychological illness (the binging/purging habits are a symptom of deeper problems), not a fad. And you can't be bulimic for a short period, the diagnostic criteria for bulimia requires at least two binge/purge episodes a week for six months before someone can get the diagnosis of bulimia nervosa. Not to mention, that it also doesn't magically go away, it's something most with the illness will struggle with for the rest of their lives. So you might want to stop saying you were "bulemic for a short time", because it doesn't make sense, and it could be found offensive by those who have actually suffered with the illness. Not to mention the BEST way to know if your child is at risk for an eating disorder is to know what one really is. Do research. Secondly, why not just stop buying junk food? Stop buying the bad foods they binge on because at 10 and 13 I'm sure they don't do the grocery shopping. It's a start. Buy healthy foods. If they want a snack let them have a piece of fruit or a vegetable, in fact, they could probably eat several pieces of fruit or vegetabls and still be okay. Not to mention, most kids these days aren't incredibly fond of fruit and vegetables, so if that's all there is, I doubt they'll binge on it, and they'll probably ONLY eat it if they are in fact really hungry. If the junk food isn't there they can't binge on it, and that's a start. If they're buying bad foods at school, then don't give them extra money. If they're buying lunch at school, pack it instead, because most school lunches are LOADED with calories and fat, so if you aren't already, pack them healthy lunches. If they go somewhere where they usually might buy a snack from a vending machine, don't give them that extra money, and send a healthy snack along with them instead. And allow them to have a "treat" every now and then. Maybe once every couple of weeks take them out for ice cream or something. (But of course, make sure they get the smallest size, or spilt something, because a lot of the portion sizes at ice cream places today are ridiculous.) Don't deprive them, but also teach them that junk food is not an everday thing. Don't keep foods like that in the house. If they whine or throw a fit, remember, this is what is best for they're health. If they don't quite understand try taking them to a doctor who will explain things to them (but pick a good doctor, one who will explain in a way that's not too harsh, and that you're children will understand). As for exercise, encourage activities that cause them to be active. They don't have to be an athelete or anything, they just need to get a bit of exercise. If you have the money to spare, you could get them a wii and wii fit which is fun, it's not the most active thing in the world, but it's a lot better than sitting on the couch watching TV. Not to mention, you can get lots of other wii games that encourage movement and exercise. And if that's not an option at this point, then maybe just take them to the park every now and then. They might seem a little old, but then again, they might enjoy it. (I'm 16 and still enjoy going to the park, especially swinging, which is much more of a workout than it looks like. It tones the abdominal muscles pretty well.) Or maybe just take them on a nature walk sometime. Make it fun, grab a camera, even just a cheap disposable one, and then have them go on a scavenger hunt for different bugs, or plants that are around in your area, and take pictures of them. Some people just aren't atheletic, but they don't have to be on a sports team or anything to get some exercise. They're more likely to engage in activities that get them moving if you do them as a family, they're fun and creative, and the girls just recognize them as fun family activities. If you tell them "well, you should do this, you need the exercise" it comes off as boring, and it could hurt their feelings, but if you get your whole family involved in something active and fun, they won't even notice they're getting exercise. To them it'll just be fun, and it will breing your whole family closer together. Anyway, best of luck to you and your family! <3
