From Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/24/15 - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx  Click here to reply  
Over the last few years (since about 10) my son has been getting fatter and my wife and I didn't notice. On vacation he'd keep his shirt on when we went swimming. At home he wore baggy clothes to hide his size. Yesterday I walked into his room and he had shirt off and saw he had breasts. Not small ones either, ones almost the size of his mother. His belly was huge, soft and covered in stretch marks. I had been repressing the idea that he was big but now the evidence was clear. I weighed him and measured his gut (210 lbs and 51 inches!) and found out he was borrowing clothes from his bigger friends so that we wouldn't notice he was gaining weight. He did not seem to be bothered by his weight at all and does not want to lose. How do I put him back on the right path?
Reply from Andrea, Child's Age 15 - 08/11/15  - IP#: 75.181.47.xxx
Dear John
You said "Im the kid. I need to lose 130 pounds." You are precious John. You deserve to feel great and empowered. No one loses 130 pounds or even 5 pounds in one day. So take it SLOW.. take it ONE HOUR at a time. That is all, sweetheart. Decide that for ONE HOUR, if you are going to eat anything it is going to be healthy. Then go to the next hour. In fact, take out a piece of lose leaf. Right down a time on every line, for example: 9am, 10am, 11am etc. Put a big "S" after the hour is over if you have been SUCCESSFUL in your goal. At the end of 24 hours -- count how many Ss you have! Decide what your goal for tomorrow is. TAKE IT ONE HOUR AT A TIME. NO MORE THAN THAT. If you fall, and have lots of spaces where there is no S, do not worry! You can set a lower goal for the next day.Maybe you want to have just 5 "S"s. Try to have 5 hours out of the day where you eat only healthy if you are eating. If it is an hour you are not eating put S if you did not eat (like when you sleep, or it's between meals) For any hours when you eat unhealthy leave it blank. If you got 5 hours healthy one day, shoot for a week of 5s! You can do it. The following week shoot for one 6 "S" day! Creep up.... let the numbers grow slowly... You want to be able to sustain the SUCCESS. If you have 24 "S"s ... whoa! the goal is how many days of good S's can you sustain?! That is where you will see the pounds melting off. THose S's are hours, but they turn into days which turns into weeks. DO NOT EVER be discouraged. THERE IS ALWAYS tomorrow. Do not every stop trying. You are worth it.
Let me know how you are doing!
Andrea
 
Reply from Andrea, Child's Age 15 - 08/11/15  - IP#: 75.181.47.xxx
Dear Charles,
I replied to your post in your most recent update. I just wanted to note that it is distressing to read where some posters have asked inappropriate questions that really are a red flag. Asking a person to provide the intimate details of the size and shape of their child's body and then to hear it regurgitated in tones of disgust would be best not to be responded to. We are here to help children. Not to add to any distress by seeing them through a lens of disgust. They are susceptible to internalizing this negative concept and deteriorating in the face of it. We are more than the sum of our bodies. While we want our children to be physically healthy, their mental health will more often than not determine their willingness to get and stay healthy. Humiliation almost always backfires - if not instantly than definitely over the long run. Embarrass a child into losing weight and he or she will have weight issues the rest of their lives. They will find it hard to move beyond their appearance in their psychological development. Makes sense, doesnt it?
Im hopeful that readers will have a heightened capacity to detect voyeuristic questions, cloaked in seemingly concerned verbiage... but bringing nothing to the table in exchange... it becomes clear when the words used to describe different aspects of the challenges are disparaging and reveal disgust and intrigue, rather than empathy and concern.
 
Reply from Ted, Child's Age 18 - 07/21/15  - IP#: 173.48.91.xxx
You and your wife work until 8:00 pm and "sometimes late"? THERE is your problem. What do you think, your boy is going to raise himself? Instead, he is spending his free time with an obese family and he has picked up their eating habits. He is stuffing himself over there and he thinks being fat is the norm. Here's an idea: make time for your child. I will never understand people who have children and don't make the time for them.
 
Reply from Ryan - 07/17/15  - IP#: 107.15.239.xxx
Does your kids weight gather in his chest or belly depending where and how much it goes to could be helpful for him getting faster and bigger clothes for his body type best of luck
 
Reply from john, Child's Age 15 - 06/07/15  - IP#: 208.54.90.xxx
Im very fat to. Im the kid. I need to lose 130 lbs
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 05/20/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Henry, how much do you weigh? And why do you want to gain weight? My son weighs over 300 pounds.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 05/18/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
How did your son react?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 05/02/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
We went in yesterday. Doctor was very concerned with his weight. Asked us to keep a food diary of what he's eating and how much to see if there's a noticeable problem.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 05/01/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
I have no idea how your boy is big, then. Did you get an appointment?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 05/01/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
In our family or the boy across the street?
A lot of his cousins are overweight, but we don't see them much. Other than that not really.
The boy across the street though all his family is very overweight.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/30/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Hmm... are any of his relatives big?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
At least you know how he got to be massive. I have no clue where it comes from in my boy.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Neither do I. I have a similar problem, i'm a fit person, my wife is just a bit plump, (mabye 20 extra pounds,) yet my son is so massive, it makes no sense.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
All of his friends have fat parents. We're the only skinny parents amongst all his friends yet somehow he's still fat and fatter than most of them. I just don't understand it.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
They probably have them simply because of extra fat. Any 12 year old near his size will have them. I know my son's were extremely big, not as big as they are now, obviously. All his overweight friends have them too.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Yeah they are.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/29/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Are his friends overweight? There's a condition where thin even teenagers can get them, but i'm not sure about 12 year olds
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/28/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Going to see how quickly I can get a doctors appointment. Is it normal for 12 year old boys to have breasts now? All his friends seem to have them.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/28/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
If he likes it, then you have an even bigger problem, but since he doesn't, just ask a professional.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/28/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Oh okay. Why did you ask if he liked his weight?
 
Reply from 13, Child's Age 13 - 04/28/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
I have no clue what it is, you'd have to ask a professional on the subject
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
What do you mean? I don't think so.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Does he seem to enjoy his extra weight?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
I've been telling him that since I noticed his weight but he doesn't seem the least bit worried.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Warn him that he could get to that size, a real example might get him motivated.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Oh okay. I'm not sure how it helps my son with his weight problem though.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
when sitting, standing its a little under 2/3
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Curious if he might be close to my son's size, he's smaller. My son's flab sags down 3/4 of the way.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
I've never seen him sitting, but when he's at the door saying goodbye to my son it hangs about halfway down his thigh. Why did you want to know?
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
When he sits, how far down the thigh does it sag? When standing?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
The other boy's belly is like an apron of fat just kind of hangs down really. I'm not really sure how exactly to describe it. Not really sure what information you're looking for.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Can you describe the other boy?
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Describe his belly.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Frankly, I'm not really sure. It's hard to get a handle on size without some sort of visual (even with such a detailed description). It's entirely possible that he is though. Both of his parents are certainly bigger than your son.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/27/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Is he anywhere near my son's size?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
The boy across the street is a lot bigger. I've never asked to be told his weight though. Both parents are larger and I dont feel it would be appropriate.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
How big is the boy across the street? He's alot bigger than yours? My son seems to enjoy his flabby body, he shows it's size and doughiness off every time he gets the chance.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Oh dear.
My wife and I work late (until about 8 on weekdays sometimes late) so he goes to a friends house who lives straight across the street after school every day. He often hangs out there on weekends too (like right now). I'm quite glad that my son is not 70 lbs heavier than his friend (in fact he's a lot lighter but they're one of those families where everyone is large). I can't imagine how embarassed I would be if he was over there taking off his shirt and playing with his fat and generally putting on a show of things.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
My son got massive because he ate a ton, but refused exercise. We eventually noticed how huge he was last summer, when he "outgrew" a 2XL pair of swim trunks. (allthough he's been huge since 11, when he weighed 220 pounds) He had always swimmed with a shirt, but couldnt get the swim shirt on over his massive belly. Now, he tips the scales at 297 pounds, never exercises, eats more than ever, and he loves being huge. His flabby belly goes almost to his knees when sitting, and peeks out of his 3XL shirt. He can hide his hands under his moobs, and loves playing with his doughy flab. He has fat rolls everywhere, creasing his moobs, nestled in his fat arms, all over the upper part of his belly, even on his back. His moobs are so big and saggy they just lay on his huge belly and even off the side. His thigh fat spills out of the sides of his computer chair, and his belly presses against the arm rests, and the computer desk. Even his calves are flabby. He has fat rolls on his inner thigh, too. The school had to custom order a desk with a seperate chair to accomodate his belly, and teachers have yelled at him for putting his doughy gut on the desk to keep the pressure off his legs. He cant participate in PE class, his flab sags to the side during situps and touches the ground during pushups. He typically goes to eat with his friends, where he's been reported eating 3 big macs, 5 cokes, 2 large fries, and tons of desserts. He got in their car to go home, where he took off his shirt and played with his fat. He's at least 70 pounds fatter than his heaviest friend.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Okay thanks. How did your boy get big?
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
If he doesnt eat much, i'd ask a professional about his weight. I dont know how he'd get so large.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
Matt, he doesn't have any medical issues (AFAIK) and he doesn't eat very much at meals. Regular portion sizes. I've never seen him play with his belly.
He does have fat rolls and a lot of them on his belly / chest / arms area. I worry that he's going to become one of those obese kids they're always talking about on the news.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Does he have any medical problems? I'm not an expert. How much does he eat in a sitting? Does he have fat rolls? Also, have you seen him playing with his belly?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/26/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
You're right, he won't do exercise, but I'm not sure that's why he's gained weight. I suspect he won't do it because of his weight. I'd still love some advice on what could be causing the weight gain.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/25/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
Around the widest part, my sons stomach is 60 inches, and he has fat rolls everywhere. His moobs sag on top of his flab, and even off the side. I dont want your son to go down the same road.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/25/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
My son wont do any kind of exercise, I assume you have a similar problem?
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/25/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
I've tried talking to him about his size and the conversations never go well. He gets defensive and angry and there's a huge fight. I honestly don't know how he got to be so big. A few years back he skinny, like visible rip cage skinny. Now you can only see fat rolls and I feel like I don't know what happened to him to cause him to balloon. My wife and I noticed, but ignored the problem. Neither one of us ever said anything or chose to believe our own eyes. I kept thinking "yeah he's filling out a bit but he's not outgrowing his clothes." I thought it was puberty and he was gearing up for a growth spurt, but the growth spurt has kind of been happening but not matching the speed at which he has expanded outwards.
 
Reply from Matt, Child's Age 13 - 04/25/15  - IP#: 73.208.160.xxx
I'd find a way to warn him about becoming my son's massive size. He allready sounds pretty big. My son's fat spills through the arms of his gaming chair, his gut (which measures a whopping FIFTY EIGHT inches) goes over halfway down his legs, and he cant see his belly button because of all the fat. Warn him before his moobs are bigger than his mothers, like my son's are, or his gut gets to be 58 inches. Dont let him get to be my son's crazy size.
 
Reply from Charles, Child's Age 12 - 04/25/15  - IP#: 104.156.49.xxx
That's what I'm afraid of. He turned 12 in April and he's not tall. I worry he's going to keep getting bigger and bigger. I'm not really sure how he got this way. He doesn't eat much junk food (we rarely buy it) and he never seems particularly hungry at meals. He eats them but he's not begging for more or wanting bigger portions.