From Ian, Child's Age 10 - 08/01/15 - IP#: 24.108.100.xxx  Click here to reply  
I am obese. Morbidly obese. I am about 30 stone and life is a daily struggle of pain for me. My son has helped me with a lot over his short life because of things my weight makes difficult but my eating habits have become his. I have tried very hard to keep him away from junk food, but I can't keep away and it has become a serious problem for him. He has become obese like me and life is starting to get difficult. He is constantly in pain in his knees and back. He is having trouble getting out of breath too easily. He is outgrowing his clothes quickly. In short he is becoming me and much earlier than I did. At his age I wasn't even 8 stone - still very much the fat kid in my day but my boy is struggling with almost 14 stone on his small frame. It hurts me to see him so overweight yet I cannot control my eating. I worry I am addicted to food and now he will be too.
Ian
Reply from Andrea, Child's Age 15 - 08/11/15  - IP#: 75.181.47.xxx
Dear Ian,
Be proud of yourself: you have taken the first, most difficult step asking for help.
I can only imagine how much it pains you to see this person you love more than yourself -- on a path of what must seem like self-destruction. W
While you may not feel in control of your life -- as food addiction IS a real thing - you DO have control over one thing: the decision to get help.
For this problem, Overeaters Anonymous can be a true lifeline. You will learn how the elements in sugar and carbohydrates act upon the brain in the same way heroin does. One thing I can tell you is this: once you have a few days "clean," where you have cut out entirely those foods with the highest propensity for addiction, the addiction to them ebbs a little. It still requires work! BUT, it does absolutely get easier. The very hardest days are the first few when the cravings intensify. If you make the decision to save his life, this may be a first very crucial step. While this will have ENORMOUS physical benefits for him to follow your footsteps, the psychological benefits of feeling empowered trump even that! He deserves to have a different relationship to his body, and he will if you do. This is very best way to love him. The legacy you will leave your son is that: there WILL indeed be challenges in life, some of the harshest ones come from within, but he CAN prevail, he is worth trying and to never give up trying. I know it is hard to get back on the horse and try again when so many times it has left you where you've started. The ONE thing you have control over is the decision to try. Everyday you are here you can decide to start over and there is no shame in that.
"What the brain loves, the brain craves." And the brain loves sugar. It gives us a short burst of feeling of well-being. So, when you embark on depriving the brain of it -- it will fight you in EVERY way it knows how: it will tell you lies, it will insert procrastinating options ("Tomorrow," "In the morning," "Monday." ) It is the voice that turns a small diet transgression into a full out binge. No one gained weight with just one piece of cake. Once you RECOGNIZE the brain hell-bent on a mission for that momentary high, you can nail it- you can defeat it. See it as a fight. As WAR! And decide that you are going to win. Decide that every single time you say NO! to unhealthy eating, you just said I LOVE YOU, SON in ACTION instead of words. If you fall off the wagon -- get back on. Refuse to allow one error to define you. Or any errors. Your son is worth not giving up for. You can do it. You took the first step to ask for help... keep going! Start the moment you read this. It doesnt matter if it is 10pm You dont need to wait til morning. Wear hunger like a badge of honor! That gurgling sound from your stomach is cheering for you! Wait for it! Celebrate it! I promise that as you get on that path, even before you have lost 5 pounds, an enormous weight will be lifted from you. You deserve a richer life but guilt is crushing you.
Andrea