Message Replying To

From Lucee, Age 16

Ht. 5'8", Start: 147 lb, Today: 183 lb, Goal: 140 lb - OMG i cannot believe it. I have GAINED 12lbs since January. In fact, ive actually gained more than that because i started at 171 at start of Jan but got down to 163 at the end of Jan and since then i have climbed up to 183! That means i have gained 37lbs since August. That is freakin crazy and its all down to bulimia. I am so out of control it is unbelievable and it feels like i am never going to regain control of my life, my weight or my eating. The binges are becoming so frequent im consuming way too many cals to purge or exercise off so as a result i am gaining weight like crazy. In my attempts to lose weight i have become overweight. I feel so ugly, fat and depressed..even my aunt said to me the other day that i was looking rather fat (does wonders for the self esteem dont it?!?) Its so annoying because i know that if it werent for the binges id be losing weight like crazy because i exercise for an hour everyday without fail and i have a lot of knowledge about healthy eaing, calories etc. so i know how to eat to lose weight and i do eat like that 80% of the time but because the other 20% is just bingeing i cannot lose weight..just gain it. Anyways i am vowing as of now to make a rigid effort to stop bingeing, i will not allow myself to gain not even another lb..i will never see 183 freakin pounds on my scale ever again!! Sorry that was so long just had to let off some steam lol. Im going to keep posting regularly because when i was losing before i was posting on here regularly so i think it helps to keep me focused. Anyways wish me luck please! =]