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From Tasha, Age 18

Ht. 5'4", Start: 143 lb, Today: 167 lb, Goal: 125 lb - this is extremely depressing. I dont know what to do. I have lost complete motivation. I started off at 143 and now im UP to almost 170. How on earth can i gain over 20 lbs instead of losing 20. Now i have 40+ lbs to lose and im scared! Please someone help me to motivate myself. I desperately need advice and guidance as well as encouragement. Please help me accomplish this.