Message Replying To

From Kayla, Age 16

Ht. 5'7", Start: 320 lb, Today: 320 lb, Goal: 150 lb - So. Here I am. Im not sure how to begin, so keep that in mind. I haven't always been this size. As a kid I was very active- I did track, basketball, gymnastics, you think of it I did it. I grew up with 3 brothers, & I am the youngest, so yeah- I was like another little boy. Sadly, I didnt have the best childhood. I grew up in severe Domestic Violence. Lets just say, when my "father" decided to keep me for 2 weeks longer than the originally planned 2 days, I was molested not only by him- but his friends. Subconsciously after that, I just stuffed everything down, and ate. Food became my way out. How I saw it was, Fat people dont get positive attention. Guys wouldnt like me as a girl, if you catch my drift. When memories would threaten to come up, or if I got touched (friendly gestures- hugs, or a hand on my arm etc), I would eat. I hated it (and I still do). Over the past few days, I have come to the realization, When I was little I couldnt stop what happened. I was young, & up against more than one grown men. NOW I have the power to stop it. I was down to 295 lbs, but I got scared of my own success and self sabotaged myself. I ate and ate and ate. Eventually gaining all my weight back. I dont look the size I am. The weight is evenly spread about, but I AM large. I have had this epiphany recently; When Iwas little I couldnt stop what happened because I was young, and against grown men. NOW- I am older. I CAN stop things if I am in that situation ever again. I love MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) As well as kickboxing, & fighting type things. I want to lose 50 pounds, THEN start with those classes. My future goals are; 1. I want to be healthy- At 150 pounds. 2. I want to do gymnastics again, as well as Kickboxing, & MMA. Also, I want to be able to run 3 miles or more. 4. I wanna keep it off. Its currently July 13, 2012: By my 17th birthday I want to lose 80-100 lbs (August 30th). Let the weight loss begin!