Message Replying To

From Cecelia, Age 16

Ht. 5'5", Start: 175 lb, Today: 179 lb, Goal: 150 lb - Okay, so, bad news. I totally thought I'd been doing okay and had maybe even lost a pound or two, but it turns out our scale wasnt accurate. I actually weigh almost 180. :( I wrote last time about sometimes wanting to give up and just get really fat and I know that If I actually hit 180 I'll just give up. I'd be 200 by the end of summer easily. I reallyyy don't wanna hit 180 because of this. I seriously need to step it up. I took a good look at myself today to see myself from an unbiased point of view and man I really do look bad. I was wearing a crop top and shorts that I thought were cute- my thighs rub together all the way down to my knees and are just very fatty looking, and my legs bulged out from the legs of the shorts. My stomach looked sorta flat when I tried the crop top on but when I'm not sucking in I have a crazy muffin too that has grown big enough to cover my belt. I mostly hate my stomach- i hate the feeling of outgrowing my clothes and having my stomach push against my clothes. I get nauseous sometimes after I overeat from my clothes being too tight. I have a friend who is 300-400 pounds and I used to kinda tease her about barely being able to walk a quarter mile but now I am beginning to understand- it is tiring carrying so much fat around. All I know is I WON'T reach 180 and I'm gonna start losing as soon as possible!