Message Replying To

From Nicki, Age 15

Ht. 5'1", Start: 90 lb, Today: 218 lb, Goal: 110 lb - (Here’s My OCD Recount of whatever i can remember) (ALSO I DIDNT MENTION AFTER MID MARCH SCHOOL WAS ONLINE BECAUSE OF CONSTRUCTION) Ok so basically i’m on here bc i rly don’t know who to talk to abt this. So basically i’ve been very skinny my whole life. I’m 5’1 now (15) and 5ish months ago i was like 5’ (14). The issue is ive gotten pretty big and chubby since then, and now i’m overweight. In January my doctor said i was five feet and 90 pounds which is like pretty small for my age and I was self conscious all the time and stuff. So anyways around a month later i noticed clothes were getting tight and i had just got some new ones that were like a few months old and they didnt fit me easily and i had to struggle to put them on. I figured I grew or something the last think i couldve thought was that i was getting fat bc like i said ive been skinny all my life and stuff. So anyways a week or so later i noticed my tummy was a little bit soft and I wasnt sure but i thought my thighs looked bigger so I got on my scale and I weighed 99 or so pounds. I remember this was feb 23 bc it was my brothers birthday. SO NOT EVEN 20 MINUTES after i did this i waked outta my room and my mom was standing there looking at me and she was like “Oh you put on some weight” and I said yeah but she was ok with it obv bc i needed some weight at that point. So i kinda ignored it bc i thought it was good I gained a little weight. Now i noticed that since after winter break i started eating a lot more but it was mostly when i was alone in my room when i was doing stuff i would eat junk food but i rly didn’t think it was a lot and i hadnt payed much attention to calories. Anyways up until maybe early march??? I didnt think abt my weight until i was getting ready and not having worn jeans in a while could not get them above my hips. I was super embarrassed and weighed myself again and was something like 105 i dont remember but i was like oh shoot bc i was getting actually fat. So i just decided to wear my sweats that day to school instead. Obviously that kinda got me worried about my weight and I was relieved when i measured myself and was 5’1 hopefully meaning i was going through a growth spurt or something. When I got home that day after school tho is when i noticed my belly was sticking out a little bit and my thighs were getting filled out and they were both mush softer and i wasnt used to that. SO once again i didnt sweat it until April fools day when my family just roasts eachother not even pranks (i bet you can imagine what kinda jokes I got.) So that kinda bummed me out bc i didnt think i got a lot fatter but turns out I did. Weighed myself again that day and I was 110 😬. I measured my height as well and it was the same. Thats when i felt like I was actually fat. Especially because a few days before then I had to go out and buy the husky version of my jeans size bc m dad was curious why i hadnt worn them in a while and I told him the truth. He also mentioned he noticed I put on some weight but it wasn’t anything to be worried about. So after april fools day my little brother started getting really open about my weight gain all of a sudden and whenever we ate breakfast he would stare at me and laugh. He also put pillows under his shirt and walked around in my clothes (all aside from the name calling). Ill be honest this really bothered me but I didn’t say anything. At this point i didn’t really think of losing weight and kinda accepted it. Also, I liked the way my clothes fit a more chubby body and actually felt better then I was when I was underweight. The thing with that tho is i barely ever got made fun of for being skinny and now it felt like everyone was calling me fat plus I WASNT EVEN FAT. Anyways, after all that i was very mindful about my weight and definitely noticed i was getting chubbier day by day. The 1st of this month is when i felt like it was out of control. I looked in the mirror at myself and i was shocked. I almost didnt recognize myself and I was chubby everywhere. My tummy was huge and my legs were too. I could grab my belly with both of my hands and pick it up. When school went remote i really didnt get out of bed much nor did i do barely anything outside the house because covid went around my house for a solid month. Anyways, that was when I started to hate it. Now, may 13, I am 118 pounds and I feel like a blob. I’ve been trying to get more active and watch my calories but my kitchen is a surplus of junk and my bed is too comfy to do much of anything. I just want to get back down to 110 when I felt thick but now i feel like i’m huge. It doesnt’t bother me so much but I just don’t want to gain anymore weight or not as fast so i can exercise and feel healthy again. Also, EVERYTHING is tight on me now that the covid is over in my house and I can’t just wear my pajamas. And everything wobbles when I walk which is unnerving. Can someone on here tell me how I can still eat and enjoy life but still lose weight? Thanks so Much. Best wishes -Nick