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From Shay, Age 16

I am so ashamed... I remember when I went to the doctor on January 15th, I was about 240. I know I didnt get serious about losing weight until a few weeks after that. Anyhow I got down to 226 about a week and a half ago. Then this past week I got down to 221.5! The lowest I have ever been in about 2 years I think. Wednesday morning I was 223.5. I had a tuna salad with lettuce and tomatoe on a roll for lunch and a salad with NO dressing but chicken, slices of bacon, scallions, and boiled eggs. TONS OF WATER. And when I woke up yesterday morning I was 221.5! I had the same thing for lunch i had the night before but with a pear. When I got home I was only up to 222 which I knew I would burn off. But then I decided to make a sandwich because I was STARVING, but it was only worth no more then 200 cals. So I ate it and weighed myself. Everything was fine but I was STILL hungry. I ordered chinese food...Chicken egg foo young. I thought I could just eat half the meal and not feel bad. Kind of like a treat for myself for doing so well lately (I have also been doing my Taebo EVERYDAY). I hate half of it and I just had to weigh myself. I went up to 224.5. I started to see red. I got hysterical. I was thinking about all of the things I want to do this summer and how i dont want to be embarrassed anymore and I couldnt take it. I made myself throw up for about a half hour straight and I was crying and blood was coming out but I just couldnt stop. I couldnt breathe at one point. I felt terrible! But then when I got on the scale it was back down to 221.5. Then I felt so happy. I went to work, came home and I was only up to 222. But I knew I had just drank a LOT of water. I woke up this morning and I am now 219.5. I am happy but I also feel bad. I dont want to make this a habit. But I dont want to get in that situation and I do that again because I KNOW it will work. Somebody please help me. I know it is wrong and I tell myself I will never do that again. But idk if I will think like that if I get as desperate again