~ LOLA'S STORY ~

I've battled my weight pretty much my entire life, and im sick of it. It seems like ive been tryin to lose weight since i was 11. At that time i got so fed up with my weight that i went on a serious diet and exercise program. I lost a lot of weight really quickley and i got in amazing shape. But i became so obsessed with my weight that i wasn't really happy anymore. I became depressed and it seemed like my life was falling apart. Around the same time, my older sister was diagnosed with brain cancer, and the one person i thought i could trust, my best friend totally went behind my back and was spreading rumors. It felt like my life was over. I soon gave up running and let my grades drop, i simply didnt care anymore. I didnt see a point in caring. Since then my depression has gotten much better, but in those four years i had many counslers and went from one depression medication to another. I also gained about 100lbs in those same four years. Im a much more stable person now but im sick of being the fat girl and i really want to lose weight. I luv my friends and they are beautiful and skinny, but when they critique themselves i look at myself and i want to cry. When i listen to my friends say how they dont think they are pretty and guys will never like them because they arent beautiful it makes me feel completely worthless. I never talk to my friends about me weight loss wishes because they would never understand what i feel like. I listen to what people say about the other big kids and i know they probally say that about me when i walk away. I know that i will probally never have a boyfriend atleast not in highschool because the only thing that matters is looks. They will never take the time to get to know me because im not the beautiful skinney girl that they want. I can honestly say with no doubt in my mind that i hate the way i look and i dont really love myslef. Im now 15. I am 5'5 and about 250 pounds. I want to lose weight so i can be more confident and less self-conscience. I want to start running this summer so i can get in shape, and learn to like myself again. Any advice or someone who is looking for a weight loss buddy count me in.