~ I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FAT GIRL MY WHOLE ENTIRE CHILDHOOD. ~

When I was born,my parents told me I weighed more than my other siblings. My older sister is a lot smaller and skinnier than me. I get embarrassed at times when people ask me if I'm the oldest of my siblings,since I'm a lot taller and bigger. My parents always tell me that I'm not fat,I'm a big person which is completely different,but I don't think so. When I was 12 years old,I went to my doctor and was told that I really needed to go on a diet and start losing weight becuase I was close to getting diebities. I just realized how they would expect a 12 year old to go on a diet,it would be hard for them since they are so young and being peer pressured by their friends to choose this or that.But I remember thinking that I'm never going to fit in those nice clothes that everyone of my skinny friends can wear. I felt like an outcast whenever my friend would invite me to go shopping. I would always make up a story just so I dont have to think about fitting in with their style. I didnt are what the doctors said,so I just kept eating and eating. Food was my life and I couldnt and wouldnt stop eating for anybody. Every Christmas party,my whole family would celebrate together,and bring presents for each other.And of course clothes were a big deal,so everone received clothes.I remember every christmas, all the clothes I got wouldnt fit me. I was sad about the whole situation becuase evryone else fit theirs,they were all skinny.My family is skinny, my parents were skinny when they were younger,all my aiblings were skinny and are still skinny. Im the only one who feels left out from them because im overweight. Whenever my family and I go out to eat, I can't eat the same thingas them becuase I know that if I choose to eat whatever fatty food they're eating,I would gain more weight in an instance. Now that i am 15, I realized that overweight people are treated so differently from skinnier looking people. I feel like whenever I go shopping,people would look at me differently from my siblings becuase they knew I wouldnt fit in those clothes. I started excersizing and eating healthier,but I know for sure that it won't last. I'm going to go back to my regular eating habbits,which is eating big portions every other hour. I just hate the fact that I know there isnt an easier cure for this disease. Overweight people have to go through the struggles and work 100% harder to lose weight just so they can fit in with the "normal people" and stop being judged. I just wish I can find a cure for this,because I want to help people just like me.